Also whee. Perfect timing, acceptable price.

Same number as before.

If I had it before, I probably have your number somewhere - but not on my phone.

So, work gave me a nice laptop to play with (er, 'develop on'). TBD if I get to keep it, but I want to use it as my primary machine. Which in turn means I'm going to do a mildly complex setup.

Spec:
Dell Precison M4300
2GB RAM, 2.2GHz Centrino T7500 dual-core CPU, 160GB HD, NVidia Quadro FX 360M

Partitions:
* Dell recovery / diagnostics
* Vista 64-bit (30 GB)
* Kubuntu 7.10 32-bit (30 GB)
* NTFS shared space (88GB)
- w/ file-hosted TrueCrypt volume(s) for all sensitive/personal data
* FAT32 shared swap (4GB)

I tried installing Kubuntu 64-bit, but... it's a major pain in the ass. NVidia drivers don't work right at all; I get blank screens w/ X even in the installer. And from googling it, the performance improvement is minimal if any, and the pain of getting stuff to work right is significantly higher. So, screw it, I'll stick with 32-bit.

I'm going to just copy the files back onto my kubuntu part that I had on it prior to moving it off pre-Vista-install. Then mess with Grub & BCD so I can get a single boot screen, and get Vista & Kubuntu to just use the new FAT32 swap. This'll require some initrd hackery in linux - meh again.

I was considering trying to run it w/ Xen or VMware, but it seems like that'd be too limiting - e.g. I wouldn't be able to run games under Windows. And I was considering trying to get OSX on as well, but again the support for that seems pretty bad - not good enough for me wanting to just have it *work* once set up.

As for file-hosted truecrypt under a journaled, swapped system... it's a pretty minor security problem given my usage AFAICT. Just need to make sure I don't have reason to change the password.

Going down for reinstall of Ubuntu now.


ETA 1AM: Finally got grub fixed. Windows CD is useless for recovery even compared to what I can get from initramfs, let alone the kubuntu live DVD. Hmph.

Anyway, it's mostly set up & working now. Still need to set up kubuntu to pretend the fat32 part is swap.

Vista actually has a (mostly) working version of symoblic links, yay - mklink. So I've symlinked my data directories on the shared part. Still need to make the crypto volumes for cryptoshare and set up cross-os-compatible settings symlinking (eg for firefox). That'll be 'fun'. :)


ETA 3AM: TrueCrypt BSODs. Grr.

ETA 4AM: Evidently it's a weird interaction between TrueCrypt and the EXT2/3 IFS driver. Gah.

So, my laptop was out of commission.

We tried a first pass at fixing the issue - it didn't get power from the plug - without success.

Today... I took the thing apart completely. All the little (and big) pieces on the table, a boxtop full of tiny screws, the motherboard completely removed from all three pieces of the frame.

Ryan re-soldered the power leads. I put it back together (oy what a pain). And only six screws left over!

And now it works. I was facing having to replace the laptop otherwise.

About as well as ever - slightly better, actually, 'cause we found a massive amount of gunk in the CPU cooler whose current nonexistence will hopefully make things cooler and thus faster. My RAM still gets really hot, but ohwell.

Yay for EE-capable boyfriends & ability to work together to solve a problem. ^^


Ryan comments: FYI it was reading ~5.8V at a couple spots before I reflowed it, and afterwards was reading 19V... no idea why, but whatever.

Something about the power. We tried taking it apart, testing connector, resoldering its leads, blah blah anyway it's dead hard enough that it'll take replacing the main board to fix. :(

Hopefully I'll be able to use Ryan's computer to virtualbox my laptop HD and thus still function, but expect my 'net accessibility etc to be a bit shoddy until further notice.

Blah. :(

Looks like the scale was off.

I reweighed with a different scale (129) and the same one again today (127.4). I don't consider it plausible that I'd lose and gain 5 pounds in a couple weeks, so I figure I've lost maybe ~2-4 pounds.

It seems that the book was a gift from aliothsan. Many thanks!


Cutting Remarks is primarily about Dr. Schwab's experience in residency at UCSF, through various wards (surgical, pediatric, vascular, etc).

To a certain extent, it reminds me of Heart Failure, though rather than being bitter, Schwab speaks from a highly successful retrospective. In that sense, I see some of what Heart Failure describes - the quasi-abusive social structures, excessive hours, and frequent trauma of patient death, tempered by decades of distance and time to forget the worst.

Schwab's account is enthralling enough that I read it in one sitting; it made me both laugh and cry, often simultaneously or near to it. He manages to find a certain humor even when starkly describing what are clearly memories that have stayed with him through the years as personal failures. His description of surgery itself is quite interesting; jocular, visual, visceral. Even (especially?) when describing what would otherwise be rather squicky aspects of his obvious love, trauma care.

If you read his blog (which is also excellent and well worth reading) you will get a feel for his style; it seems to be native, and not just merely a touchup by some top-notch ghostwriter.

I'm not sure what more I can say about it other than that I recommend it without reservation, and will loan on request.


ETA: As regards personal reaction: I am fairly sure that I do not myself want to go into surgery. Psychiatry or neurology perhaps, but I've already discussed my qualms about medical school compared to a straight Ph.D. I'm still somewhat uncertain about trying for an MSTP (MD + PhD); while I admire what he does - and that he has remained human despite it - I do not think it is for me, and I would likely need to force the MD part to work for my true interests.

But it is, nevertheless, fascinating stuff.


ETA2: You can also hear him read part of it at http://surgeonsblog.mypodcast.com/index.html

Dr. Sidney M Schwab's Cutting Remarks.

All I know is he's got an excellent blog which I've mentioned before. Hopefully the book should be interesting (though I currently have no intention of going into surgery...)

And I have no idea whom it's from. The username 'sucinen' is on the receipt, and while I'm fairly sure I've seen that before, I can't remember any context at all, nor do I see any relevant logs / emails / accounts. A new WP account that doesn't overlap with my edits at all, an inactive OKC account, and that's it.

So, whoever you are, thanks. :) I'll post my thoughts about the book once I've read it.

Beginning of December: 133 lb
Now: 122 lb

That's a lot of weight to lose in one month without trying and not even realize it.

Possibly a metabolism change from the gabapentin? But then, I've not been eating very much lately either; low appetite. I've exercised a little bit more but not enough to make this much of a change. Muscle percentage seems to be about the same.

Hm.

I expect to be in Florida approx January 6-13th, visiting my grandfather.

Hopefully I'll still be online and available by phone (though dunno if my plan covers roaming there; need to check).

If you're near Miami and want to meet up, let me know.

I've switched styles, from Component Gray Sky to Expressive Minimalist Gray.

Mostly this is prompted by Alex asking me about permalinks; when browsing for an answer for him I found this and thought it was better than Component. More utility links, for instance. Better tag-cloud sidebar. Keep almost all the things I wanted from Component; one nit is that it doesn't clearly encapsulate each entry as Component did. But I think I'll get over it.

And it's still content-foregrounded and easy on eyes, so it works for me.

Went pretty well.

Expected to be 3:30-4:30, but actually ran 3-5:50. Good sign. (I got there early, since I wasn't sure how much time to allocate for driving & parking and erred on the cautious side. Planned to arrive at 3, left at 2, almost got lost but didn't quite.)

Took a while to find parking; I succumbed to using the public garage. Grr expensive, blah. But IIRC UCSF has transportation reimbursement or somesuch as a benefit, and if I start working there there'd be workarounds anyway.

Went up to the office, Dr Rosen was right in; waited a short bit for him to finish up something and we started talking.

The conversation took quite a while and covered a lot of ground, in large part due to my asking a very large number of questions (per my usual) and him actually answering them all, cogently and interestingly (per unusual, and which scores him ultra bonus points [aka "mad props"] in my book).

Started covering the program in general (memory.ucsf.edu); it's an NIH "program project" (metaproject of interrelated components, 5 year renewal cycle, long term, large scale, multi site) geared broadly toward investigating memory & aging. Then Rosen's component thereof - on frontotemporal dementia (FTD) in various ways - emotional 'issues' in self and recognition of others', frontal lobe and anterior cingulate gyrus degeneration / shrinkage, awareness of own dementia or the scale thereof (a la prosopagnosia), memory loss, etc.

I'm here glossing over a lot of tangential discussion - etiology, treatment, diagnosis, & effects of FTD vs Alzheimer's; pragmatics of running a couple-hundred-subject trial with only 10 subjects per location; interrelationship between clinical and research aspects of Rosen's job as well as UCSF & its neurology division(s); social vs neurological possible reasons for symptom denial; subject disposition across trials; details of various testing methods (fMRI, sMRI, galvanic skin response [GSR], psychometric surveys); function and use of the software they use (brains2); possible automation thereof; typical and atypical subjects; semantic aphasias (eg subject forgets what a notepad is for, or what the word for "eating" is); episodic vs other memory preservation;...... and so on.

So, circling regions of interest on sMRI scans... He estimated it'd be not more than 40% of my time. Involves opening up scans in brains2, finding the anatomical chunk in question (e.g. anterior cingulate gyrus) using the 3 orthogonal views plus rotatable 3d model, picking one view to be the baseline (typically coronal), and literally outlining it with a mouse or stylus. Repeat for every slice. Takes a few hours per brain. Plus finding various baseline stuff for each brain (e.g. samples of white matter, gray matter, and cerebrospinal fluid [CSF] so it knows what's what), which takes an hourish. Seems like a straightforward, if tedious, process. Will keep eye for ways to make faster, automated, semiautomated, and non-RSI-prone... but enh it's not too bad, and it's brain-multitasking compatible once learned.

The other 60% of my job would involve scheduling, psych testing subjects, etc etc.

Interview went very well AFAICT; went happily over time, good rapport, body language positive, engaged, & synchronized, etc.

Then (eventually) on to interview with the RAs. Seemed like a pretty typical lab - lots of nice monitors and keyboards with desks side-by-side on the perimeter of the room (dubbed "the fishbowl", ha). A couple people working, and six of 'em taking time out to interview me. (Notable point of amusement: everyone I met there is female, except for one token male who showed up at the end.)

Q&A here was much more stereotypical-interview-y. They talked about what they do day-to-day (several scheduling subjects & researchers; one person budgeting; various occasional psychometric interviews; brainscan frobbing; various miscellany as assigned), how they're assigned (each works for a specific project, which typically equals the PI but not always, and a fair amount of cross sharing). Was asked what I wanted out of it, opinion on my own strengths/weaknesses (geh, I can't answer that well), why switching from CS, what "asl music interpretations" meant, what I'd hate in a workplace, how I deal with anger, plans for future, why/whence language background, research interests, etc. etc.

Again, I think it went fairly well though not to the same degree; had everyone laughing and smiling by the end, and no obvious fumbles, so yar.

Returned to Rosen to get my bag & talk a few more minutes to wrap up. He suggested I email him my interest; I responded by saying "yes I'm very interested, when can I start?".

Answer is that he'll need to figure out other interviewdees etc per usual, please send him a list of references, I'll know within 1-2 weeks, and if yes then I start early January.

Oh and random, he's from the Bronx, looks like a (very kind) doctor I had a long time ago, and sounds just like ambyr's dad, with the classic Jewish accent. (I happen to find this rather pleasant for whatever reason; it feels like cookies and books. Don't think I have any actual memory associations on this point, but enh, there's phonaesthetics for ya. Plus with ambyr's parents that's really a very plausible association...)


Soooooo.... my feeling is that I scored it. Hopefully my references reinforce that. It'll be a nervous couple weeks 'till I find out. I should continue looking for other stuff in the meantime just in case, since... well, I really like-no-srsly-I'm-broke need money. I would drastically prefer that it be in something like this, where I can learn neuro on the job, have it be a stepping stone to graduate school, all that good longterm plan stuff.

But gah, no matter how well I feel I did with something like this, I don't like the feeling of being so dependent on stuff I can't control.

Ohwell. Hopefully it works out and come my birthday I'll have a new job, and be back on track to fulfilling all those grand goals of mine.

( Background info & facts )

So, O Internets, I humbly request an answer to these questions:

1. Can I deposit the check WITHOUT waiving my rights to sue them for the $743.17 they owe me? (I need the cash.)

Suppose for example I write on the check:

"This check is deposited under protest, without prejudice, and with reservation of all rights of the payee against the drawer of this check pursuant to UCC § 1-207 for an unpaid remaining debt of $743.17, and explicitly denies any accord or satisfaction to waive this remaining debt."

... and then deposit it WITHOUT endorsing it, either at my own bank or at theirs (Citibank).

1b. Can I write that, and deposit it WITH an endorsement, and preserve my rights to sue?

2. Can they conditionally refund my deposit in the first place? IIRC there are laws requiring that deposit be fully returned within a certain period of time; that I dispute the amount they have given me should not waive this requirement.

3. Can they legally countersue me for the ENTIRE amount of carpet installation that they admit had only 25% life expectancy remaining, despite a) not having given me receipts, and b) having not listed the full amount on the itemized deposit deduction statement? According to http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/landlordbook/sec-deposit.shtml citing Civil Code Sections 1950.5(e), "normal wear and tear" cannot be charged; this includes specifically a "useful life remaining" rule.

4. According to http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/landlordbook/sec-deposit.shtml citing Civil Code Section 1950.5(g)(2), they are required to have given me copies of all receipts unless I explicitly waive that right, which I did not do. I did not receive any even when I explicitly asked for them. Does this increase their liability to me?

5. According to http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/landlordbook/sec-deposit.shtml citing Civil Code Section 1950.5(b)(3) and 1950.5(e), it is illegal to routinely charge each tenant for cleaning carpets (among other things). However, my lease contains a clause EXPLICITLY requiring this as a nonnegotiable deduction from the deposit. I believe this also falls under 1950.5(m). Does this create an additional liability, openness to injunction to cease, or liability for punitive damages?

6. According to http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/landlordbook/sec-deposit.shtml citing Civil Code Section 1950.5(l), if they act in "bad faith", then the court can order payment of the full amount of the deposit plus double that amount as a "bad faith" penalty. (This would total 3463.17 in my case, still under the $7500 limit of small claims court.) Do the events described here constitute "bad faith"?

7. Their letter to me a) does not include the receipts I requested; b) claims that they could countersue me for the entire amount of the carpet installation [contrary to #3 above]; and c) is obviously intended to initmidate me against suing them for the amount I believe I am owed. Is this illegal, and if so, does it create a liability?

8. They are located in a different county than I. Can I sue them from a local small claims court, and/or can I do so entirely by written declaration?

9. Is it worth taking them to small claims court over this, all told? How likely am I to collect the amount I believe they owe me; collect more for damages, interest, punitive damages, etc; or to contrariwise be ordered to pay THEM additional money for what they claim? (Which, AFAICT, is exclusively the full amount of the carpet.)

10. Anything else I should take into consideration?

Thanks in advance,
Sai

P.S. On the moral question: they've been total assholes to me and others throughout my tenancy. The only qualms I might have had about suing would be about the two former managers who were total sweethearts, and who were forced to resign recently by the aforementioned assholes. So I have no qualms whatsoever about this; my question is exclusively one of whether it would backfire on me.

( CA Civil Code 1950.5 )

Stopped by Gazzaley lab yesterday. Talked with the postdocs there - very friendly - but didn't get Gazzaley himself. Did however get tipped off (by said postdocs) to a party someone was throwing to show off their molecular imaging software, which was neat (and good free food! PHD Comic is so true). Will evidently need to email rather than call and set up an appointment. Ahwell. Also finished reading 4-5 papers while there, so that's useful.

On the way out, got a call from another PI who'd gotten my app, who told me about his work. Uses sMRI, skin galvanic response to look at emotional impairment related to frontal/temporal dementia in old people. Said that 40% of the job involves circling regions of interest on sMRI images. Anyway, I have an interview for that next week, and am fairly sure I can have the job if I want it.

Same pay/benes moreorless within any of the UCSF gigs (unless they offer different starting steps within the same job descriptor; in which case salary can vary by ~5k/yr), but I think I should try to interview for at least 2-4 before deciding, given the variance in research topic and methods used. Would be good to get experience with EEG & fMRI, possibly TMS or PET. And there's bound to be variability in personality of the people and the atmosphere in various labs.

And another factor still is trying to evaluate how much I'd have published within the next year. (With my name how high in the authorship list, where published, how important, etc.)

But still, w00t.

(And thanks to funcrunch for encouraging me to apply to UCSF.)

Use basic HTML view:

https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=html&zy=d

Grr on them for not giving that link anywhere unless they think you need it. And grr for immense code obfuscation.

Tray-loading iMac G3, 288MB RAM, 6GB HD, lime green, no OS. Monitor flickers occasionally. Otherwise functional.

Ping teh_munchkin to claim.

Must be willing to come by our place in Foster City to pick up.

Free to a good creative home. Or a creatively abusive home, we don't really care. Post pics if you do something to it.

Ryan: (reading label) "Made from the juice of 21 lemons!"
Me: (in ASL) Lemon 21 were-all-killed for you!

Edit: Now uploaded to YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8XcuO4wIs0

( Inline video )

Woke up early...er today, ate cereal, and went w/ Ryan to exercise for 45 minutes. 30 minutes of ellipticals, plus some upper-body weights.

Weight limit (~3-6 reps) - bench press 80lb, pull-down 130lb, butterfly 60 lb. And I can do a few pullups on the pulldown machine - I weigh 135, so if I set it to 150lb, kneel, and cross my legs it's not too bad. Should probably mostly be doing lighter weights at more reps though, since I'm more interested in being lithe-strong than bulky.

It's interesting to note that on the elliptical machine, I didn't get the shortness of breath and hurting shoulder / chest that I normally do when running; perhaps that is mostly a matter of jarring? Or perhaps I just wasn't pushing hard enough to reach that point. I was sweating a bit and wobbly-legged by the end of it, but I wouldn't say that it was a strenuous workout.

Hopefully we'll be able to make this a daily ritual. Would help get in better shape, and it's a good way to wake up in the morning.

I'm in better shape than I'd expect given that I'm pretty sedentary and don't especially control my diet, but then my diet tends towards more healthy foods because they taste better to me. I'd like to have better aerobic condition & better strength though. Gaining some muscle tone (and removing the small amount of bellyfat I have) would be nice.

Should see if I can get my dad's bike (it's now sitting dusty and neglected), start using that some... and maybe make Ryan start biking (9 miles) to BART for school. ^^

Haven't been reading in LJ for quite a while. Backread fairly quickly to 9/18. May have missed stuff. If anything important/interesting/etc I should read, let me know.

My friends are awesome.

I've lately been feeling very glad to be alive.

And I'm glad to be the me I am now.

Still much work to be done, but damn, the roses smell good.